Warning: Don’t Drink & Commit

If my life was summed up on a bumper sticker it would say “don’t drink & commit.”

At my age I should know better than to make choices, plans or commitments while I’m drinking alcohol.

My friend Sally says that I should have business cards made up that say I’m not responsible for any plans or choices that I make while intoxicated. Kind of like the deaf solicitors.

Sally has a reputation for not remembering, so we call her Dory. It works for her. Sally is cute.

It doesn’t work for me. I remember. I’m not cute, I’m opinionated. And I don’t want to get a reputation for breaking commitments after a series of bad choices that I may make while I am drinking. But can I really be committed if I was drunk when I did the committing?

I asked my husband if it counts when I commit to something when alcohol is involved.

It depends.

“On what?”

You were sober when we got married.

“I’m not talking about that. Ugh. Forget it.”

I guess it does count when I commit to something after a few alcoholic beverages. Hmm. Okay, I can do this. After all, I did commit to parenthood after a drunken night of bad birth control choices.

And it’s not like I drink a lot, or often. Really.

Maybe I need a tattoo.

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