Kidnapping, Perverts, Sharp Things & Yemen

My friend’s son started kindergarten today and my friend is nervous and worried her little boy will get lost in the big school. Since I had the honor of being my friend’s labor coach five years ago, today is stirring up some nerves (and tears) for me too. I remember sitting in my oldest son’s kindergarten class everyday for the first week because he wouldn’t stop screaming; his teacher actually called me after I dropped him off, and asked me to come back to the school. I also remember sending all three of my sons to kindergarten with little notes pinned to their shirts.

I understand my friend’s nerves because parenting made the irrational-psycho-control freak part of my personality blossom. Two of my sons are legal adults, and my youngest son, sixteen year old Nic, is undoubtedly more mature than I. Even still, I make Nic text me when he gets home from school and I still check to make sure he is breathing before I go to bed. A few years ago my middle son traveled alone, overseas, to report to his first Navy assignment and he didn’t call me for twenty-one hours. I was convinced he had been mugged and lay dead in a bathroom stall at an airport in Alaska. Since then however, I have learned to let go -at least with him, and only little bit.

When my boys were little I worried about kidnappings, perverts and sharp things. Now my sons are older and I worry about traffic accidents, suicide from stress, Yemen and impreginations.

I wanted to tell my friend that letting go of her son would get easier. But that’s a lie. We as mothers never let go, we never stop worrying. We never get used to our hearts walking around outside of our body. We just get better at coping with, or hiding, the irrational-psycho-control-freak lurking inside.

And we all secretly wish we could send our kid through life with a little school bus shaped note pinned to their shirt.

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2 comments on “Kidnapping, Perverts, Sharp Things & Yemen

  1. Noelle
    August 17, 2012 at August 17, 2012 #

    **sniff**

    • virtualendings
      August 18, 2012 at August 18, 2012 #

      It doesn’t get easier my Sweets, you just get used to it. We enjoyed the pics. Give him a big hug from me xoxo

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