I Went Commando In Ohio

I like Ohio. I have to admit, I didn’t know much about Ohio and it wasn’t on my list of places to visit before I die, until my friend Terri moved there. Now I know a Buckeye is a tree nut, and it looks like a round peanut butter cup with an eye.

During my visit, Terri and I walked through a cemetery and read tombstones. I wore my ‘naked’ dress (maxi-dress with a built-in bra and enough length to go commando) and I accidentally flashed an A&W diner, full-on-Britney-tabloid style. I lost my perfect black cardigan. I learned how to make sangria. We took a hundred photos and blew up my husband’s iPhone with photo-texts. And we pondered important stuff like if I ever decided to sell pot for a living, how Terri felt I would be completely committed to it, just like Nancy on Weeds.

It was hard to leave Ohio.

While I waited at the departure gate for my flight to Atlanta, I called my husband.

“I’m at the airport. Talk to me so I don’t start to cry.”

Um. Okay. Why are you at the airport so early?

“It’s not that early, my flight leaves in thirty minutes.”

I thought your flight left at 7:10?

“It does.”

It’s 5:40.

Panicked, I looked at my iPhone and it was 6:40.

“No, it’s not. It’s 6:40.”

I thought you told me that Dayton was in the same time zone as us?

“Hm. I thought it was. Wow. You mean I’ve been in Ohio for over two days and I didn’t realize they are an hour ahead of us? No wonder I thought you got off work early on Friday.”

Uh. Yeah. And that would be later, not earlier. Why are you whispering?

“Because I’m surrounded by people that know what time zone they are in!”

I know a lot about Ohio now. I know Ohio is in the Eastern Time Zone and it has Buckeyes and Cheesecake Factories. And Ohio has my dear friend and my perfect black cardigan …and someone at the A&W who saw way too much of my Britney.





One comment on “I Went Commando In Ohio

  1. Terri
    September 11, 2012 at September 11, 2012 #

    My Training class had a carry-in luch on Friday. One of my new Trainees works at the Cheesecake Factory. I explained how much we loved the Red Velvet Cheesecake. He brought a whole Red Velvet Cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory as his carry-in item. The whole cake weighed 20 pounds…if that tells you anything! I miss you!

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