Who, Whom & Bat Shit Moms

My kids think I drive them “bat shit.”

When my (now) twenty-one year old son, Alex, joined the Navy against my wishes and fresh out of highschool, he refused to tell me any details, including the length of his enlistment; which made for very awkward conversations with other people.

“How long did Alex enlist?”

I don’t know, he won’t tell me.

(Of course, when Alex reads this, he will swear he told me, and I forgot.)

My oldest son Jamie is twenty-five and he goes to college. And I’m not sure when he will finish. If I ask him too many questions, he gets annoyed. I think he has two more classes left; at least that’s what he told me a few semesters ago.

Recently Jamie asked if he could come over to use my laptop; I told him sure, but he couldn’t take it with him until I transferred some things to my external hard drive.

“Mom, why would you say that? That is so demented! If I come over to watch TV, are you going to tell me not to take the TV?”

Uh, Jamie, I offered to let you use my laptop last week, when yours was stolen. I thought maybe you planned to take me up on my offer.

“Oh wow Mom, sorry. I forgot all about your offer. Sure, I’d like to borrow your laptop. Can I get it tomorrow?”

My youngest son Nic is sixteen and he just started driving. Earlier this week I witnessed him make a right turn into his school, from the middle lane. Later that day, I asked my son about his illegal turn.

“Yes Mom, it was my car, but I was in the right lane for a good ten seconds before I turned.”

No, Nic. I saw you turn right, from the middle lane.

“Really Mom. I did not turn right, from the middle lane.”

Nic, I did not hallucinate. I clearly saw you turn right, from the middle lane. I know what I saw. And I’m the boss of you. I will take your car away if you get a ticket.

(Silence.)

Evidentally (my sons think) I’m forgetful, annoying, demented and I hallucinate.

So, just who is driving whom “bat shit?”

20120928-111151.jpg

Advertisements

One comment on “Who, Whom & Bat Shit Moms

  1. whatstheformulablog
    September 28, 2012 at September 28, 2012 #

    I like “bar” — it’s the place i go for solace right when my 17 y.o. thinks i’m driving HIM bat shit. so yeah, he drives ME bar shit!!! Thanks for a good read: they really try to make it seem as if you’re the one losing your mind!

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: