I Draw The Line At Diarrhea

I ran over seven miles yesterday on my long run and now this bump on the bottom of my foot hurts.

So while watching TV with my husband tonight, I asked him, the ‘experienced runner,’ to feel my foot bump. My hubs said my bump was actually a wart, and it was a common problem for runners. And then he got up to get me Dr. Scholl’s Freeze Away, because apparently WE KEEP THIS IN OUR MEDICINE CABINET!

Since I started running, I have been bit in the ass by a dog; my lips are constantly chapped; I had an ingrown pubic hair boil; I lost my pinky toe nail, my hair has broken-off from pony-tail holders; and I have had to keep my toe nails super-short, which makes any color from the OPI Spring collection automatically ugly-looking on my (now) wart feet.

Plus, I have read horror stories about how people get diarrhea during long distance runs, and shit their pants; so I have been living in fear of uncontrollable, untimely defecation, and now this. A wart. I thought only dirty people and frog handlers got warts.

I didn’t sign up for this, I just signed up for a half-marathon.

My husband says I shouldn’t worry, it’s not a witch wart.


One comment on “I Draw The Line At Diarrhea

  1. leighakay
    February 19, 2013 at February 19, 2013 #

    Hahaha! This is every runner’s nightmare, finally said in public. Thank you! 🙂

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