I Used All The Seat Liners Bathing A Cat

A few months back, on our road trip South, my husband and I made a pit stop at the last bathroom before we hit the string of islands leading to our final destination, Key West.

Being from Florida, we knew the popular food mart chain we chose for our last pit stop typically had very clean restrooms, and this one did not disappoint. When I entered the single room, I reached above the commode to retrieve a seat-liner from the wall mounted dispenser… and the entire face of the dispenser opened, and every single seat-liner fell out, directly into the commode.

Let me reiterate; this was the LAST bathroom for miles, and this was the ONLY women’s restroom in this food mart. And I drank a lot of water, so the situation was urgent. And the commode was full of a thousand soggy seat liners. So I looked around for something I could use to fish the seat liners out of the commode. I spotted a pointy press-board Christmas ornament hanging on the wall. Perfect.

I fished out the seat-liner slop with the wall decor; I slung the wad in the nearby garbage can, and then re-hung the ornament as it started to swell. Water dripped off the ornament and ran down the wall, pooling on the floor. Then, I noticed the floor looked like I had bathed a cat. Great. I could hear chatter, there was a line forming outside the bathroom door. I texted my husband and warned him to be ready for a quick departure, and I would meet him at the car.

I took a picture of the wall ornament so my husband would believe me. Then, I race-walked out of the bathroom, past the women standing in the restroom line. And I really hoped the next lady didn’t slip and fall.

I got your text. Do I want to know what happened?

“Probably not.”

And I didn’t pee until we got to Key West.


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