We Need A Foursome For My Addiction

Hi Y’all. My name is Kelly, and I’m addicted to lazy bunnies and destination runs.

Last Friday, I called out sick to work for the first time since 2001. I mean, I’ve had pre-planned days off in the last twelve years (like when I’ve lost expendable organs), but not a cold-call-unscheduled-flat-out sick day. And last Friday, I wasn’t really sick; my back hurt. So my sick-day was more like an I-cannot-move-period day. Hello work? I can’t come in today because I can’t sit up and I can’t sit down; I can only pace about and curse like I have Tourettes, because I am so miserably uncomfortable; and so I’ve decided to use all of my energy to seek out street drugs. I’ll be back on Monday.

Uhmm okay, so I really didn’t really seek out a suburban street drug dealer. But that sounds smarter than what I actually did on my immobile-day.

Last Friday, I popped enough ibuprofen to kill a cat, and then I lounged on the sofa. And I paced around the house. And I watched Justified reruns. Essentially I did everything and anything I could to take my mind off of my lower back pain. And then I grabbed my iPad and perused everyone’s shiny Facebook lives, and then I checked my email. And there it was; an innocent looking email from runDisney advertising the Twilight Tower of Terror Ten-Mile Run in October.

And as I read the email, I had a this vision of me, Hubs and Ethel, running through the clean and magical streets of Disney, with Mary Poppins music playing and all the characters, happy, smiling and running with us. And the bunnies! The little drugged Disney bunnies were everywhere in my daydream! Okay, so I doubt Disney really drugs their bunnies, because PETA would be all in their shit, but seriously Disney bunnies have got to be the friendliest and laziest bunnies EVER. Once at a Disney resort, when my youngest son was five, a bunny just hopped over to him, paused, and plopped down at his feet! WTH?! So, in my vision, the bunnies were hopping along the run path with us, along with Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

I know, I know, it’s the Twilight Tower of Terror Ten Mile Run, and the Disney villians run with you, and and scare you (ssh! don’t tell my husband that part), and it’s at ten o’clock at night so the bunnies will be asleep; and we will run through Hollywood Disney. But this was my vision.

And I blame the ibuprofen levels, and my friend Ethel and my Hubs for not stopping me (they had a five-second window). Because Crazy-Addicted-IMMOBILE-Kelly took over and within ten minutes (because-these-Disney-events-fill-up-and-sell-out-super-fast-so-you-must-book-now-tick-tock) we were registered. And I completely forgot about my back pain, and the fact that I couldn’t move AT ALL. I forgot about how ten minutes before I checked my email, even Raylan Givens couldn’t keep me from worrying about making it through the Rock N Roll half-marathon, that was a mere six weeks away. But there I was, booking another destination run. All because of lazy-bunnies.

Which makes me think; me and the Wonder Twins (Ethel and my Hubs), need a fourth to round out our friendship; a stability partner. I’m the wild card, and Ethel, well, she is the kind of friend who commits to the idea with me because she figures if she goes with me, and participates, she can control how much trouble we will get into. HA! I love her for trying.

And Hubs, well, he thinks exactly how Ethel thinks, and they even tell me the exact same thing, unbeknownst to each other. It’s creepy (so I call them the Wonder Twins). Plus, Hubs drives the get-a-way car. Although most of the time, Hubs goes to bed early (he is a real runner), and so it’s just me and Ethel…

So I’ve decided to control my addiction, me and the Wonder Twins totally need someone to talk us out of my crazy ideas; yes, we need a fourth person: a stability friend.

And Ethel, when we go to Disney, I want to have what the Disney bunnies are having. Let’s follow them!

8 comments on “We Need A Foursome For My Addiction

  1. Roxie the Outlaw
    March 23, 2013 at March 23, 2013 #

    OMGosh I have an Ethell TOO! And for the SAME REASON! Love it – maybe WE are the Wonder Twins. Haha! πŸ™‚

  2. Ethel Mertz
    March 23, 2013 at March 23, 2013 #

    Sounds like “Ethel” needs a “Fred.” πŸ˜‰

    • virtualendings
      March 23, 2013 at March 23, 2013 #

      I can help you look for one πŸ™‚

      • Ethel Mertz
        March 23, 2013 at March 23, 2013 #

        Well get to looking, Lucy! You know what I like!

      • Ethel Mertz
        March 23, 2013 at March 23, 2013 #

        And no bunny boys! 😜

      • virtualendings
        March 23, 2013 at March 23, 2013 #

        Eww Bunny Boy is a child, and could in no way add stability to out trio LOL we’d eat him for lunch! Hmm the wheels are turning…

      • Ethel Mertz
        March 23, 2013 at March 23, 2013 #

        Awwwww, I don’t want to eat Thumper! And I’m guessing that he will probably need to be an Aries or some similar sign that is compatible to you like me and my Wonder Twin. But stable. πŸ™‚

  3. snellsracechase
    March 25, 2013 at March 25, 2013 #

    I will be running the Wine and Dine in November at Disney. I couldn’t turn down the chance to run the happiest streets in the world… or my wife who LOVES Disney way too much. Anyway… good luck getting back on your feet!

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