When You Meet My Mom, Cover Your Ears

My adult-son Alex, brought his friendgirl home to meet us on Easter Sunday afternoon. This was actually the second time we’ve met Alex’s friendgirl, but this was the first time we’ve had the opportunity to spend real time together.

About ten minutes into our visit, Friendgirl mentioned she just had her ears pierced, and one of her earring backs was stuck on; which meant the earring was stuck in her ear. Friendgirl couldn’t get the earring out. This situation had infection written all over it. And well, being a problem solver and internet doctor, I decided we should cut the earring off.

Friendgirl mentioned she didn’t have another piercing stud, and she was just planning to wait. And go back to the store where she had her ears pierced….

“No problem, I have another piercing stud. Alex, go and get the wire cutters from the garage.”

Alex and Hubs tried to intervene on Friendgirl’s behalf, they suggested this may not be what Friendgirl wanted; however, I assured them, of course this is what she wanted. Afterall, who wants an infection? And with that, my plan was in motion.

I gathered the piercing stud, alcohol and cotton balls, while Hubs helped Alex locate the wire cutters in the garage. And the whole time Hubs was mumbling about how he didn’t want to witness an Easter bloodbath, and about how he faints at the sight of blood…GEESCH!

Poor Friendgirl looked horrified, she sat perfectly still, and she didn’t say a word. So I assured Friendgirl that everything would be fine, and we had to do this or she would get an infection.

Friendgirl really was agreeable Y’all.

Plus, I had experience. I had performed earring and toe surgery on myself lots of times. And I told Friendgirl about how I had only ever cut Alex’s ear once, and that was with scissors, so she was in good hands.

When Alex came back with the wire cutters, I pulled Friendgirl’s ear skin back, and Alex snipped the earring. POP! CLINK! The back of the earring flew across the room, hit the light fixture and fell somewhere.. maybe into the ham?

But we didn’t cut Friendgirl’s ear. And there was barely any blood, so Hubs could open his eyes. Success.

And Friendgirl filled her newly empty ear hole with my piercing stud; which was probably a solid gold antique, since I haven’t had my ears pierced in thirty years.

And later, when Nic, my teenage son, breezed into the kitchen, oblivious to the earring surgery, we all warned him to look for the earring back, before he ate any ham. Hmm. Nic didn’t even question why there would be an earring in the ham, he just moved on to the freezer and got out the chicken nuggets. Weird.

Anyway, I think Friendgirl liked us. I hope she comes to visit again soon.

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