My Recliner Swallows Me Up & Messes With My Hair

I’m wide awake and it’s three-thirty in the morning. WTH. Oh yeah. That’s right. I fell asleep in my recliner last night around eight o’clock, with wet hair and a belly full of lobster. And vodka.

So I got six hours of sleep. In my recliner.

I guess my body doesn’t care if my six sleep hours were the restless kind; the I’m-going-to-get-up-in-a-minute-pop-ten-tylenol-drink-a-gallon-of-water-pee-then-move-to-the-bed, drunken-sleep-plotting kind of hours. Nope. My body figures I had my six hours of sleep, and too effing bad if they were crappy sleep-hours.

I remember as a teenager, staring at my mother in disbelief whenever she complained about not sleeping. What do you mean you CANNOT sleep? What IS wrong with you? EVERYBODY can sleep?

HA! Well, here I am. I don’t have to get up with newborns or toddlers, I don’t have to do chores, I’m the boss of me and I can sleep all day cause I said so. But I can’t sleep. Uhmm Hello Universe? This IS SO backward.

And now I’ll need to take a nap later, because I’ll be tired. And then tonight I won’t be tired, because I took a nap today. And then I have to get up tomorrow morning, after staying up late tonight, to go to work. Whoa. This is going to be messy. Middle-age Mental Note: a day of vanilla vodka, paddle boards, sand and sun will wreak havoc on my sleep schedule. Check.

Hubs was right. We should’ve never bought that recliner.

On the plus side, yesterday was a good hair day; I actually had Magazine Hair. First. Time. Ever.

Today, I have Medusa Hair.

Damn recliner.



2 comments on “My Recliner Swallows Me Up & Messes With My Hair

  1. Ethel Mertz
    April 14, 2013 at April 14, 2013 #

    Yeah, this can’t sleep when I’m supposed to sleep thing, sucks.

  2. Roxie the Outlaw
    May 9, 2013 at May 9, 2013 #

    I totally get it. Here I am reading your blog in the middle of the night when I should be sleeping!

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