Bleachy Coffee Makes 13.1 Light

Its 2AM. This is the morning of my first half marathon, and I can’t sleep because I’m worried. I’m not worried about the 100% chance of rain, thunder and gusty winds; I’m not worried that I can’t run the half marathon, and I’ll have to walk it; I’m worried about untimely-runner-defecation. Yep. That one.

My constitution is clogged. And the nine-thousand laxatives I swallowed in the past two days haven’t kicked in. Yet. So, I decided my normal routine, writing and drinking coffee, at this wee hour of 2AM, might be the path to cleaning out my pipes in the most convenient location.

So here I am in our hotel suite, with my husband sawing logs in the other room… writing on my iPad, and drinking weak coffee from the in-room coffee pot.


I am a former manager, of a very high-end resort hotel. And as a result of my hotel experience, I have a few hotel-isms:

Never walk across a hotel floor barefoot.

Never touch the comforter or bed spread.

Always wipe off the TV remotes (with the bleach wipes I bring with me)

And never, ever use the in-room hotel coffee pot, under any circumstances.

Because the in-room coffee pot was probably cleaned with the dirty toilet bowl brush, by the non-English speaking housekeeper, because she thought the toilet bowl brush was a coffee pot cleaner.

Although I could choose not to use the in-room coffee pot, and then I will surely be stricken by the nine-thousand laxative induced untimely-runner-defecation, somewhere in the middle of the 13.1 miles.

Because room service is closed between midnight and 5AM. And we have to leave at 5AM.

And I need coffee.


Portable potty vs. in-room coffee pot.

Ahh. My coffee tastes like bleach.

One comment on “Bleachy Coffee Makes 13.1 Light

  1. FUchick1
    May 7, 2013 at May 7, 2013 #

    I never heard anyone talk about this! Exactly the reason why I will never run one. I don’t know you did it but congrats. I am on so maybe if I conquer the bathrm issues – it will be running a half marathon away from 49!

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