My Hubs Deserves A Cape, Or A Sword, Or Car Sex

I picked up my new eyeglasses yesterday, and after several attempts to adjust my frames, the eyeglass fitter insisted my frames were fine. And I didn’t argue. I could see Fitter Guy’s frustration level was high so I figured I’d just go to another optician and get the eyeglasses fitted, later.

And so we moved on to the part of the fitting where I actually looked through the glasses. And wow. If you’ve ever had progressive lenses, then you know, you don’t have any peripheral vision. But, I didn’t know this. This was only my second pair of glasses. Ever. And so I thought my prescription was wrong. And when I told Fitter Guy Hey, I think my prescription is wrong, because I can’t see… Fitter Guy got all wadded up, and abruptly removed my glasses by the temples, and then, he told me in a very loud, non-indoor voice, which I call yelling…

Take your money and leave.

Seriously. I swear. This really happened.

And I told Fitter Guy in a very calm, and sort of shaky-surprised voice, that I didn’t want my money back, I just needed glasses I could see through, and uhmm, maybe he could send the lenses back and get the right prescription…? But Fitter Guy kept yelling…

You’ve been rude since you walked in.

You are impossible to please.

I am done with you.

I can’t work with you.

You need to leave.

…and a lobby full of people stared at me. I was mortified, embarrassed and I just sat there. Like a lump. Dumbfounded. And tears welled up in my eyes.

Then the sweet receptionist scurried over to help me.. and she explained how a progressive lens works, blah, blah, blah. And I left clutching my new Kate Spade specs with tears streaming down my face as I passed all the people in the lobby on my way out.

And then I called Hubs on the way home.

The next morning I returned to the eye doctor’s office, trembling and on the verge of tears, clutching Hubs’ arm. Hubs demanded to speak to Fitter Guy’s boss, the eye doctor. I wanted to return my mangled glasses, and leave. Fast. Hubs wanted an apology.

As I shakily explained the series of unfortunate events to the eye doctor, she was extremely sympathetic, and apologetic, and she asked the Fitter Guy to apologize to me too, but Fitter Guy flatly refused. That’s right. Fitter Guy blatantly refused to apologize.

And so the conversation went around in circles for a bit, with Fitter Guy stumbling over his lies, and failing to make eye contact, and repeatedly refusing to apologize to me.

We thanked the eye doctor for her kindness, told her she just lost three customers (Hubs and our son Nic wear contacts), and we left.

And then it got weirder…

As Hubs and I were leaving, I was contemplating doing him right there in my car, in the parking lot; because he was so manly, and he looked so damn sexy defending my honor. Maybe it’s because I’ve watched the entire first season of Game of Thrones in the last three days, and I’m all into old world honor. But wow, after all these years of marriage, there just aren’t many opportunities for Hubs to drive up in his orange Jeep and totally be my hero… plus, the Jon Snow style apology demand, was all his idea.

But that wasn’t the weird part. My car sex contemplation was interrupted…

Fitter Guy walked out into the parking lot and hollered for Hubs; he asked if he could speak to Hubs privately, and apologize.

Are you effing kidding me?

I told Hubs to move out of the way so I could run Fitter Guy over. I mean, it’s not like Hubs carries a sword, and I had visions of Fitter Guy’s head on a stick.

Hubs leaned into my car and told me I couldn’t run Fitter Guy over, and then he told Fitter Guy, in a loud, non-indoor voice, Too Late, you had your chance.

Unfortunately, so did Hubs… the moment was gone, and we drove off in different directions.

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3 comments on “My Hubs Deserves A Cape, Or A Sword, Or Car Sex

  1. meganorlowskirussell
    June 22, 2013 at June 22, 2013 #

    Did they fix your glasses? I’m sorry they were mean about your glasses. You have to feel comfortable with something that’s going to live on your face.

    • virtualendings
      June 22, 2013 at June 22, 2013 #

      You are exactly right. Thank you! My fake-OCD would have made me crazy-insane if the glasses didn’t feel right on my face.

      And no, I didn’t really give them a chance to fix the glasses because I didn’t feel comfortable in that office without my husband -and how realistic is that?! LOL

      So it’s back to square one.. but I got to keep the Rx, and the free lens cleaner 🙂

  2. Margaret Haynes Meritt
    June 22, 2013 at June 22, 2013 #

    As a former optician, I’m appalled by his lack of service and professionalism! That just doesn’t fly anywhere! In my 30 year optical career, you have to spend time teaching someone how progressive lenses work and tailor the instruction to the patient. Sorry you had that horrible first experience. He would get the boot out the door in my practice!

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