Don’t Pull My Leg

Did you ever wear a pair of jeans that weren’t clean? I mean, clean jeans, but not fresh-out-of-the-laundry-clean jeans?

Well I did. I was running late one day last week, and I threw on a pair of clean, but not fresh-out-of-the-laundry-clean jeans, and went to work. And I didn’t notice that the undies I wore with them the last time, were still stuck inside the jeans; until I was walking across the lobby of my office; with customers trailing behind me, and I felt a small, soft, wad working it’s way down my leg. And then I remembered… Oh-my-gawd.

And the more I walked, the faster my undies slid down my leg. I knew I had to to slow down the undie-drop. Fast.

So all of a sudden, I started half dragging my leg and forward-moon-walk-break-dance-limping; like Quasimodo doing an imitation of Michael Jackson. The customers trailing behind me seemed confused, but they kept following me.

(Seriously? I am obviously afflicted, and you are going to keep following me? We could be going to a gas chamber or something.)

And my coworkers slowly wandered out of their offices, and toward the lobby; they lined up and stared at me; like they were watching a gimp parade.

Whatever. It worked. I didn’t drop-kick my dirty thong across the lobby floor.

Whew.

On the plus side, I found my favorite undies.

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9 comments on “Don’t Pull My Leg

  1. jshippee
    October 13, 2013 at October 13, 2013 #

    I hate that feeling of “I will do anything I can to get out of this situation”. Well played!

  2. notsofancynancy
    October 13, 2013 at October 13, 2013 #

    hahahaha I have a friend that happened too. Her son was arrested and she got called to go pick him up grabbed her jeans in her rush to get to the station. She did not notice the underwear until she was walking down the long hall she came in through. As she and the officer walked to the front of the hall there they were! Lying in that hall. What is a person supposed to do? She allowed the officer to walk in front of her while she reached down and pick them up and shoved them in her purse. Hilarious… sorry…. I never leave mine underwear in my jeans. Learned that from her!

    • virtualendings
      October 13, 2013 at October 13, 2013 #

      LMAO that’s funny! It’s happened once before to me too, at a bookstore. I walked past undies in the floor & thought OMG who would leave undies on the floor in Barnes & Noble?! And then I looked closer. And they looked familiar. So I walked back by the undies & looked again AND THEY WERE MINE. So I did what your friend did, and I scooped them up (I looked around first though to make sure nobody saw me). You’d think I’d learn from THAT. But no. Not me.

      • notsofancynancy
        October 13, 2013 at October 13, 2013 #

        ahhahahaha at least it was not the police station! Still hilarious though!

  3. Roxie the Outlaw
    October 14, 2013 at October 14, 2013 #

    HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! OMG classic! I’ve never done the undies thing before, but I have stashed a tampon in the waistband of my pants on the way to the bathroom only to have it fall through the leg of my pants onto the floor while my male co-worker watched it happen.

    Again … parallel universe! 🙂

  4. Jennwith2ns
    October 14, 2013 at October 14, 2013 #

    When I was in high school (and far more self-conscious and modest than I am now, which is saying something), I used to sing in the church choir, but one morning I came in late, and they were all already sitting up at the front of the church. So I sneaked in the side and sat in the front row waiting until my dad (who was the pastor) started to pray or something so everyone would have their eyes closed. As soon as he started, I got up to scuttle surreptitiously to my seat in the choir, but my foot got caught in the strap of my mom’s purse, which was (for some reason) open, and the whole thing came with me, spraying tampons and sanitary napkins in its wake. It was not one of my finer moments.

    Also. Thanks for following the Jenn stories! 🙂 Look–I just left you one for your very own. 😉

    • virtualendings
      October 14, 2013 at October 14, 2013 #

      Oh geez, how awful for a teenager! And in church, where EVERYBODY is perfect (at least through the eyes of a high schooler). It must have scarred you for life!

      And I forgot all about tampons! But thanks to you and Roxie, I’ll have to dig out some tampon memories.. maybe I’ll do it during shark week LOL Oh, yeah, I remember my little brother and his friend used mine for torpedoes once, when we were on vacay.. and shot them out of the back of the car window as we rolled down the highway. Yeah. There was that…

      • virtualendings
        October 14, 2013 at October 14, 2013 #

        And thanks Jenn, for my very own story 🙂

      • Jennwith2ns
        October 14, 2013 at October 14, 2013 #

        Heh. I don’t know about scarred for life, but obviously I still remember it! 🙂

        Torpedoes. Nice.

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