I’m Out-ing Myself

My husband is baffled by my mustache collection, and he is convinced that I am the ONLY person on the planet who likes mustache merchandise despite all the evidence to the contrary, like there are actually stores full of this shit so obviously somebody is buying it besides me.

Over the past year or two, I’ve really tried to explain to Hubs how mustaches make me smile; they make me laugh out loud; they are random, super silly and unexpected. And so ME! And how sometimes when I’m bored I draw mustaches on models in magazines just to amuse myself.

Can you think of anything better to do than to take a serious picture of yourself and add a mustache? I can. Put on a fake mustache and send a video to your friends saying, “Dahling, I mustache you a question.” Yes. I did that.
It’s goofy. It’s fun. It’s just because.

But even after several hundred attempts to explain my mustache-thing, Hubs still doesn’t understand; he thinks I am weird, and I AM THE ONLY ONE who likes mustache merchandise, and he reluctantly accepts it; kind of like you accept that you have diarrhea, but you don’t want everyone to know about it.
But everybody knows anyway.

Our friends Lily and Dax came over for diner last night, and before they arrived I poured myself a drink in my new mustache pilsner glass. Hubs walked in as I was mixing my drink…


Do you have to use that glass? Is Lily aware of your weird mustache thing? Will she understand?

“I don’t know. Should I call and tell her before they come over? Do you think it could be a deal-breaker?”

4 comments on “I’m Out-ing Myself

  1. blueprint2success
    January 20, 2014 at January 20, 2014 #

    You are not alone in your affinity for the moustache. I had a thirty minute conversation last year with two women in an exhibit hall and learned all about their love of the ‘stache inclusive of pictures. Yes, Lucy, you are not alone.

    • virtualendings
      January 20, 2014 at January 20, 2014 #

      Hubs thinks it’s me. And only me. He thinks that thirty million hundred trillion retailers make all of this merchandise for me (by the way, I love the journal -thank you!).

      Hmm.. Maybe you can activate your Wonder Twin powers, and clue him in..? I’m getting tired of esplanin’

  2. bensbitterblog
    January 20, 2014 at January 20, 2014 #

    Mustaches aren’t for everyone, like you husband maybe, but there is a new fascination that women have for them. I think I would like a freak with one, but a fake one would make me look distinguished.

  3. virtualendings
    January 20, 2014 at January 20, 2014 #

    I agree, a fake mustache would make you look more distinguished. It’s hard to take someone with a real mustache seriously

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