Pretty Naked Piggies

I’ve been logging long miles training for my third half marathon in a couple of months, and I read online that an Epsom Salts bath is good for sore muscles, and that it will also detoxify your body. So the other night I decided to try it.

Since I don’t normally take tub baths I was bored to near-death, and the only thing I had to look at while sitting in the tub (after my magazine got soggy) were my skanky, winter feet. And my feet were really disgusting because it’s been about two months since I’ve had a pedicure, and I’m a runner.

So think: comic-villian-crusty-callused-ugly feet. Now you’ve got a visual…

After about forty-five minutes I couldn’t tolerate staring at my frumpy-dumpy piggies for one more second. I grabbed a cotton washcloth and started scrubbing all the bubbled up, pruned dead skin on my feet.

I scrubbed all the dead crap and callouses right off my toes, my heels and even out of the in-between-nail-meets-toe places. With a washcloth. And oh-my-gawd Y’all, it came right off! I didn’t have to use mani-clippers, axes, razors, or pumice stones! No shit. Really. I mean, it was so easy. I ONLY USED A COTTON WASHCLOTH.

So I yelled from the bathtub for Hubs to bring me my camera…

Why do you want your camera? You are in the bathtub.

(he dutifully got my camera and brought it to me while he questioned me)

“I need to take a picture for my blog! I need proof!”

Proof of what? What kind of picture are you going to take in the bathtub for your blog?

(he didn’t wait for me to answer, he just gave me the camera, shook his head, muttered something about whatever I put online stays on the internet forever, and then he walked away closing the door behind him)

A few hours after my bath (and subsequent shower) I still had sore muscles, and I didn’t have a clue if my body detoxed from the Epsom Salts bath. All in all I felt the same.

But hey, you can’t believe everything you read online. Right? Without proof, anyway.



One comment on “Pretty Naked Piggies

  1. bensbitterblog
    February 27, 2014 at February 27, 2014 #

    I heard good things about epsom salts too.

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