i went birthday dark

I took my birthdate off Facebook.

I did it a few years ago, right before my birthday when I was talking to my tech-savvy-BFF Ethel, and bitching about how bizarre it felt to know that casual acquaintances (like people I drunk-friended at a bar in Key West years ago) were about be blasted with reminders about my birth date. I complained to Ethel about how I didn’t need the internet to gather around me, and wish me a happy birthday on my Facebook wall to have a HAPPY day. Just like I didn’t need the waiters to parade and gather around me at a restaurant, clap, sing, and plop a probable-lice-ridden hat on my head, and feed me cake (I don’t know) to have a happy-f&%king birthday. I mean, it’s cool when you are ten, or you do it to your kid…
But I’m not ten, and I’m not my kid.

Then Ethel told me I COULD DELETE MY BIRTHDATE from Facebook. Seriously? I could have skipped that space? Those stupid-ass CTBS tests I took during school in the eighties conditioned me like Pavlov’s dog to fill in every-single-blank without question. I never tried to skip my birthdate. Whoo-hoo. So I removed my birthdate from Facebook, and I have since become an obnoxious blank-skipper, but I’ll save that story for another blog.

And do you wanna know what’s happened in the years since I deleted my birthdate? Everyone that remembered my birthday before Mark Zuckerberg idiot-proofed everyone’s birthdate memory, and invented the obnoxious in-your-facebook-reminders, well… They still remember that it’s my birthday.

The biggest benefit about taking my birthdate off Facebook is the privacy. That’s right. You can still find a morsel of privacy if you look for it –or skip some fill-in-the-blanks.

I REALY love the fact that a casual acquaintance, like say the mother of my son’s best friend’s baby-mama isn’t going to creep me out by yelling Happy Birthday, stalker-style, across a crowded grocery store. If I happen to run into her again. On my birthday. In a crowded grocery store.

Yesterday was my birthday. It was a day full privacy, and bliss; a day full of red velvet cupcakes, surprises, warm-fuzzy birthday cards, mustache swag, flowers from my boys, loving phone calls, private messages, and texts. All of my favorite things. From all of my favorite people. People I real-life know, and love.

My BFF Jan, and mustache rings. Jan knows me.

And I know there are people out there that love me, or really like me, and they forgot my birthday. Or they didn’t know about my birthday. And that’s really cool because I don’t wear a sign, or I forget shit too. Like right now I’m especially bad about remembering the surprise part of surprise party. So really, no worries.

Oh, and yesterday Ethel was a woman on a mission to text me the most birthday memes in one day. This one was my favorite. Oh-my-gawd I love my Ethel. She. Gets. Me.
And so do my boys. Flowers melt my heart. And the card made me snort-laugh. Sometimes I can’t believe I’m a mom. And that all of my boys survived to adulthood -well, almost.

Yesterday was the bestest birthday thus far… Even Google quietly remembered my day without a Facebook reminder.

One comment on “i went birthday dark

  1. bensbitterblog
    April 6, 2014 at April 6, 2014 #

    Ha ha. I’m not a big “fake” Facebook birthday reminder guy either. I used to care way more until it just got so annoying that I spent the whole day getting calls and people telling me happy birthday and am annoying me about it. Glad you had a good day.

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