it’s not “just” facebook…

Sometimes it’s not just Facebook. Sometimes it’s your connection.

One of my siblings recently had a baby and as it happens, life got busy for me and my sibling at the same time. In the past month since the baby’s birth I haven’t even met the baby, but I loved perusing Facebook looking for new photos. Facebook and Instagram were my baby-connection.

I mean, me and my sibling both thought we were trying to connect in real-life… I texted to ask when I could come to see the baby, and my sibling said anytime. Then I asked for a more specific, and convenient time.

And nothing. My sibling was busy. I tried to understand. Patience isn’t one of my virtues. Sure. I got snotty.

Then my life got busy too. My business took off. My son graduated from high school. I had business meetings and business travel, and a lot of things going on in general. And my sibling thought I was ignoring the happy life-event.

But everyday I visited Facebook and Instagram looking for a new photo of the baby. Facebook was my link to my sibling’s child.

And last night was no exception. Before I went to bed I checked Facebook, and Instagram.

Imagine my surprise when I learned I had been “unfriended.” By my sibling. And his partner. On Facebook. And on Instagram.

Surprise doesn’t quite cover it. Let’s call it hysteria. That’s an appropriate descriptor. I cried until after four this morning, and then I finally fell asleep.

I woke up to long texts from my sibling, and the partner. I learned I was unfriended because they didn’t like one of my Facebook friends.

No kidding. I’m serious.

They both went on and on in separate texts giving me great detail about why they didn’t like my friend, and honestly I skimmed over all the dirt. I have no interest in my sibling’s high school romance-drama with my Facebook friend, anymore than I have an interest in a daytime television soap opera.

My friend is my friend. I am as loyal to her as I am to my sibling. Actually, if push ever came to shove, I would be more loyal to my sibling; but my friend would never push or shove to that boundary. She. Is. My. Friend.

And we are talking about Facebook! You have privacy controls and settings, and if you don’t want someone to see your posts. YOU can control Facebook! You don’t unfriend your sibling. Your child’s aunt. Your family.

Unless her feelings are expendable..?

In attempts to defend their action, my sibling’s partner pointed out they are only on Facebook because that’s how the partner’s family sees the baby since the family doesn’t live nearby.

When I countered to the partner that was how I saw the baby too, that Facebook and Instagram were my connection to the baby, I was instantly shut down. I was reminded that I live twenty miles away (which is a forty minute drive one-way this time of year). I guess I’m expected to give up my day job and fight tourist traffic if I want to see daily pictures of the baby -either that or let them pick my friends.

If seeing photos and connecting with the baby on Facebook and Instagram is good enough for my sibling’s partner’s family, why isn’t good enough for my sibling’s family?

No, the partner said. We are not trying to manipulate or control you. Right.

After several texts, my sibling’s partner finally copped out and said, “I didn’t realize unfriending you would be such a big deal, otherwise I wouldn’t have done it.”

WTH?! But I thought it was important to unfriend me because you didn’t approve of my Facebook friend? Uh? After that, I just gave up. Frankly, this whole situation is just sad. These people have a child now, and they don’t seem to understand that actions have consequences. That people have feelings, and that Facebook CAN hurt.

It’s not just Facebook.

On a weird note, I can’t help but be proud of my younger sibling for presenting a united front with his partner, albeit against me. But really, this is how it should be in a strong relationship. My Hubs always has my back. So good job little sibling, I really do wish you and your family the best.

Sadly though, my sibling chose to alienate a loyal, faithful perosn, one who loves them all very much. Or, maybe it was my choice because it is all just so f*%king awkward now. It’s hard to tell…

Ahh, but what is one less crazy Aunt. Right?


4 comments on “it’s not “just” facebook…

  1. Noelle Rose Tabor
    June 21, 2014 at June 21, 2014 #

    I wish I was there so we could drink wine and paint our toenails and notice that I decided to leave this reply using my FB account.

  2. virtualendings
    June 21, 2014 at June 21, 2014 #

    I love you, and that you used FB, and that L gets to benefit from this crazy aunt.

  3. blueprint2success
    June 21, 2014 at June 21, 2014 #


    • virtualendings
      June 21, 2014 at June 21, 2014 #

      I know Ethel. I know. But I have chocolate now. So I’m better.

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