itsy-bitsy-lonely

“Look what I just killed in our garage.”

My husband just walked in the kitchen and proudly showed me a picture on his phone.

Are you kidding me? That’s a black widow!

“Yep. And I killed it.”

What about her friends and her nest of eggs? Should we call an exterminator!

(laughing) “It was just one. And it’s dead.”

There is never just one. They aren’t loners.

“Yes. They are. Spiders don’t travel in packs.”

How do you know? Oh-my-gawd. Now I’m itchy and I won’t be able to sleep tonight because spiders will probably be crawling all over me.

(shaking his head and walking away) “Why do I tell you these things.”

Because you have to! You’d feel bad if I got bit and dropped dead and left you alone because you kept a secret…I watched Venom ER! Black widow venom is fifteen times stronger than a snake’s venom. This is serious!

(I grabbed my iPad and began Googling)

Hubs! It says online there are probably hundreds more black widows in our garage…and we probably have an infestation…and you need to go hunting for them at night with gloves, boots and a flashlight because they are nocturnal…and their nests are usually along the baseboard by doorways in undisturbed areas and one foot apart…and you can tell by the strength and shape of the web that it’s a black widow. Come on. Get a flashlight and I’ll help you…let’s go!

(rolling his eyes) “Relax. Take a breath. I’ll go and confirm that the one dead spider in our garage is still dead.”

Husband. Father. Spider-slayer. Hero.

Husband. Father. Spider-slayer. Hero.

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